Savage Indifference
Dear Mike Savage,

I'm a ... well never mind how old I am. I'm an over 21 female whose boyfriend watches you on TV while he beats off. He is so inconsiderate that he just walks into the living room, takes over the sofa wearing nothing but his tighty whities, and just stares at the television whacking off whenever you come (no joke intended) onto the television. It wasn't so bad when he just listened to you on the radio, but it happens so often that I can't have people over to the house any more.

Also he never has the energy to make love to me any more. Do you think that I should leave him?

signed Desperate To Save This Relationship

Dear Desperate,

Of course not! Your husband is just exhibiting his natural urges. If you would quit your job and meet him at the door wearing cling wrap and perfume, perhaps you could keep him interested. Be grateful that he isn't a homosexual.