Saturday, February 07, 2009

It Is Time

for Obama to go all LBJ on Mitch McConnell's ass.

Telphoning -- Ring, ring ....

BO: Mitch? Barack Obama here. How you doing today?

MM: Um, I'm just fine .. *pause* .. Mr. *pause* Mr. President. How are you?

BO: Well, Mitch, I'm pretty well but I could be better. *silence*

MM: Uh, ... Uh, why ... Uh, what can I do for you?

BO: *laughing* I notice you're having a little trouble with that "Mr. President" part.

MM: *too quickly* Why no Mr. President, I was just a little distracted is all.

BO: That's OK, my boy. You'll get used to it. .....
You see Mitch -- may I call you Mitch?

MM: Of course *cough* Mr. President.

BO: Good, Mitch. Good. You see Mitch, I just wanted to spend a few minutes talking to you about my package.

MM: *coughing fit*

BO: You seem to be having a little trouble there Mitch? I'll wait until you are feeling better. I hope it won't take too long. I have a few more calls to make.

MM: *coughing trails off* I just had a little tickle in my throat Mr. President.

BO: I'm glad you're feeling better Mitch. Now about my package.

MM: *more coughing*

BO: You see, Mitch, my package is real important to me. You may think I'm just another negro that you can ignore, but you'll understand when I say I want it large and I want it fast. And you seem to be getting in my way.

Now I know you want to show your people that you're in charge but Mitch? You aren't. I am.

You see I want this and I want it now.

MM: *haughty, the accent thick as old grits* I don't .. but .. you are ignoring the tax cuts that ..

BO: *cutting him off* There, there, Mitch. You know who won that little election. Your boy gave you all of the tax cuts you're ever going to get. I'm not asking you Mitch.

MM: *sputtering*

BO: I'm just explaining that if you don't help me with my package, and fast, I'll make sure that Kentucky doesn't get one single tax dollar as long as I'm in the White House. I know you aren't up for reelection for a while, but your folks are going to remember. Understand what I'm saying Mitch?

MM: *officious* Yes Mr. President.

BO: I'm sure you'll do the right thing, Mitch. *click*


Landru said...

I think that whatever you call your happy place? You've been spending too much time there.

Sasha said...

Gosh I didn't know I could spend too much time in my happy place.